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Communication Skills Training: A Practical Guide to Improving Your Social Intelligence, Presentation, Persuasion and Public Speaking

Communication Skills Training: A Practical Guide to Improving Your Social Intelligence, Presentation, Persuasion and Public Speaking

by Ian Tuhovsky

Successful communication is one of the most important skills that you can have. Pretty much every successful person will tell you that they got successful because of their great contacts with other people.

Summary Notes

Introduction

Communication skills are one of the most useful skills you may have, however, it’s not even taught in schools. Actually, it’s quite difficult to get this knowledge from mass media. There is no many teachers, no tv programs.

There are areas of work, in which you don’t need communication skills. However, the skill is very useful in most of the areas of your life - especially the personal ones.

Communication skills can be improved only by right attitude, applying knowledge and practicing certain abilities.

Skills to acquire

A map is not actual terrain

There is no one objective truth.

Every human being has a different map of the world. Eventually, you’ll come to the realization that every person on this planet has different life experiences, beliefs, values, and expectations. Interpretation of the same information may be completely different when made by different people.

Skills to acquire

Eight most important questions you should ask yourself

Some of the most basic communication mistakes (for example, telling your children or employees what they shouldn’t do instead of what they should do) are so common that despite their dysfunctionality, they are perceived as something “normal” by most people.

Here are a great eight questions, that will improve your communication skills a lot!

Skills to acquire

How to express anger and avoid conflicts

Every emotion is a result of our thoughts.

There is no point in blaming others when we feel bad. It makes no sense at all on a practical level of reason. If we want to solve the matter constructively, we have to allow that person to understand what is going on inside of us, how we really feel.

When you accuse someone of something, the accused person has two possible choices: to take your words personally (which will make them feel hopeless and restrain them from changing their behavior) or to reject them (which won’t change their behavior either).

Skills to acquire

Smile

Smile more often to improve your communication skills!

When you smile more often, your brain will be functioning much better and other people will see you like a more sociable and friendly person. What's more, you will also improve their humor and you will feel much better in the process.

Skills to acquire

The most common communication obstacles

If you want to improve your communication skills, you need to first recognize your limits, then really think about all the things holding you back while interacting with other people.

Skills to acquire

Five most basic and crucial conversational fixes

Every single fix mentioned here will improve your conversation skills a lot, but each in a different way. You will build your self-esteem, empathy with others, trust, and self-discipline. The last fix will help you with difficult questions and not very honest conversation partners.

Skills to acquire

How to deal with difficult people

Dealing with difficult people is extremely important, especially in the corporate world or any other kind of professional life. It’s most important not only in everyday life but when you can’t afford to simply ignore them.

Skills to acquire

Phrases to purge from your dictionary

There are phrases, that may have a very negative impact on the conversation, and it’s better to remove them completely from your dictionary.

Each of these phrases can be very offensive and can be understood as a direct attack on the person you are talking to. For example, when you say, “But you just said, …” you send the information that the second person changes their mind quickly and is not consistent with what they are saying. It might be true, but using this expression may make them angry and put them in a defensive state.

By using different phrases, you keep the conversation in a much better emotional state.

Skills to acquire

The subtle art of giving feedback

If you want someone to learn something, this person must be in a positive emotional state.

You have probably heard about the feedback sandwich. Well, it’s working. However, to use it correctly, we need to give attention to details and show our willingness to help.

Skills to acquire

How to have unique and memorable conversations

Small talk is usually boring. When you talk to another person, you want to make an impact. You want to be memorable, not just another boring person. Well, if your conversations are not as good as you would like them to be, just use these methods to lead conversation like a master.

Skills to acquire

Rapport, the art of excellent communication

The truth is, we like people who are similar to us, enabling us to trust them the most.

Building rapport is an art. It may happen that you are both are very similar to each other, and then the rapport will be there naturally. However, in most cases, you will have to build it if you want to get benefits from it. And the benefits are huge: building rapport is like making the other person like you. And if they like you, you can lead the conversation to any point you want.

The most fascinating benefit of building rapport is that from the point you have a strong connection, you can change the emotional state of the other person in any direction you want to. This means first you try to mimic the other person and match to their energy, and second, you go slowly toward the energy you want (for example, from negative to positive).

Skills to acquire

How to finally start remembering names?

The ability to quickly and permanently remember people's names is an extremely underrated skill.

Dale Carnegie used to say, "For most people, their own name is the sweetest and most important sound in any language." By remembering the other person’s name, you show the them that they are important to you, that you like them. If you don’t remember their name, it’s like saying, “I don’t care about you.” Well, you don’t want to give such an impression of yourself, don’t you?

Skills to acquire

Ways to Have a Great Public Presentation

The ability to act in front of a bigger group of people is one of the most desired skills among people interested in self-development. It's because we perform all the time—not only during presentations, business meetings, or training but also in normal everyday situations, like when we meet up with our friends.

Skills to acquire

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