How to Apply The Anatomy of Peace: Resolving the Heart of Conflict
Discover why two men who each lost a father to the other's people became living proof that every war, from a marriage to the Middle East, starts and ends in the same place
About This Book
Yusuf al-Falah is an Arab who watched his father die at the hands of an Israeli militia. Avi Rozen is a Jew whose father was killed defending Israel. Together they run a wilderness program for troubled teenagers in the Arizona desert, and together they teach parents, executives, and each other that conflict at home, at work, and between nations grows from the same hidden root. A 2013 Stanford survey found CEOs wanted conflict skills more than any other. The Arbinger Institute's bestseller, translated into nearly thirty languages, argues that people in conflict don't actually want solutions most of all, and shows the surprising thing they want instead.About the Author
The Arbinger Institute is the organization behind this book and its predecessor, Leadership and Self-Deception. Its ideas draw on the philosopher Martin Buber's observation that people are always relating to others either as things or as people. The Anatomy of Peace unfolds through the fictional Camp Moriah, a wilderness program in the Arizona desert, and draws on Arbinger's wider work applying these ideas to breaking down silos in organizations, transforming law enforcement methods, building college conflict curriculums, and healing labor-management disputes and marriages.
Biggest Takeaway
You'll stop mistaking outward good behavior for real peace, and start noticing when your own heart has quietly gone to war with a colleague, a partner, or your own child. You'll recognize the small self-betrayals, the apology you skipped, the coins you didn't help pick up, that turn ordinary people into enemies in your mind. You'll have a concrete way to find calm before a hard conversation instead of after it has already blown up. And in your next disagreement, whether it's a stalled negotiation, a family standoff, or a workplace rivalry, you'll know where to look first: not at their behavior, but at your own way of seeing them.
Key Insights from This Book
Explore the most important ideas and learn how to apply them in your life.
The forgotten king who won every war by refusing to hate his enemies
Why treating someone fairly won't make them feel treated fairly
The blind beggar who taught a professor how wars really start
The four excuses your mind reaches for when you know you're wrong
How a fight about lawn edging explains wars between nations
The seed a heartbroken teenager mailed to a friend he betrayed
The stranger at a riot who called a man his own worst enemy
The parenting strategy that works by doing almost no correcting
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