Transform conflicts by seeing through their eyes

You walk into the break room and find Ava fuming by the coffee maker. Her face is tight; she’s just been yelled at over a simple error. Your instinct is to defend your coworker, but something stops you. You notice her knuckles whitening around the mug. You pause, breathe, and imagine what it’s like to be caught in that public rebuke. You approach softly and say, “That must have felt really embarrassing.” Her shoulders drop. The tension in the space seems to dissolve. She lifts her gaze, nods quietly, and begins to explain how the workload has been overwhelming. You listen without judgment as the coffee machine hums in the background. In that moment of calm presence, you’ve offered a bridge back to humanity.

Neuroscience shows that empathy activates mirror neurons and releases oxytocin in both speaker and listener, strengthening trust and reducing stress. By genuinely tuning into another’s emotional state, you calm the amygdala and open the pathway for constructive dialogue.

Pause and let the hum of daily life go dim as you notice their emotions. Speak their fears back to them before you say anything else. Invite them into a joint search for solutions, and watch walls of anger vanish. Try it before your next tense exchange.