How to Apply Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too
Why treating your children fairly may be the exact reason they can't stand each other
About This Book
Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish spent years running parent workshops built on principles they learned in child psychologist Haim Ginott's parent groups, and what they uncovered upends the standard playbook for stopping sibling fights. Why does telling your kids you're loved the same often make things worse, not better? Why can inviting a child to say I hate him out loud actually lead to peace by nightfall? Drawing on interviews with families from age three to eighty-eight, and unflinching stories from their own households, including a moment involving a red-hot spoon, Faber and Mazlish show what actually eases the rivalry that drives so many parents up the wall.About the Author
Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish were parents who struggled with their own children's battles before becoming part of a parent-guidance group led by the child psychologist Dr. Haim Ginott. Out of that experience, and years of nationwide workshops built specifically around sibling rivalry, they gathered hundreds of hours of interviews and workshop transcripts from parents and children ranging from age three to eighty-eight. Faber and Mazlish are also known for How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk, and for Liberated Parents, Liberated Children. Siblings Without Rivalry grew directly out of material that had outgrown that earlier book.
Biggest Takeaway
You'll stop dreading the moment your kids are left alone together. Instead of refereeing who hit whom first, you'll know what to say when one child screams that she hates her brother. You'll catch yourself before blurting out a comparison, and find better words when your son demands to know who you love best. When a fight turns dangerous, you'll know the difference between stepping in and overreacting. And when a rivalry runs deep and keeps repeating, you'll have an actual process, tested by other parents, for getting two angry children to solve it themselves instead of running to you every time.
Key Insights from This Book
Explore the most important ideas and learn how to apply them in your life.
The frightening logic every child secretly runs when a sibling arrives
What imagining a second spouse reveals about your child's jealousy
A nickname that convinced one sister she'd always come second
Why splitting everything exactly in half still leaves both kids upset
What a red-hot spoon taught one mother about labeling her son
Four words that tell you whether to break up a fight
Why deciding who's right rarely settles a sibling feud for good
A three-hour lunch that finally explained a lifetime of beatings
Want More Actionable Insights?
Get the Mentorist app and turn knowledge from hundreds of books into daily actions.