Badass Habits: Cultivate the Awareness, Boundaries, and Daily Upgrades You Need to Make Them Stickby Jen Sincero
Badass Habits is a book about developing a positive mindset to help you improve your habits. It will encourage you to be more aware of your thoughts and feelings and to focus on your goals and aspirations. With practical advice and effective strategies for forming and breaking habits, this book empowers you to identify your current habits, create new ones, and set healthy boundaries. In essence, you'll have everything it takes to become your best self, one day at a time.
The Foundation of Habit Formation
Habits are patterns of behavior that become automatic responses to certain stimuli or situations. They are formed by our brains as a way of conserving energy and freeing up cognitive resources to take in more information and do more tasks.
Triggers and sequences are the building blocks of habit formation. Triggers are cues that signal our brains to perform a particular habit, while sequences are a series of steps that lead to the reward.
Repetition is key when it comes to forming new habits. While it may require some initial effort, repeating the behavior over and over again will eventually make it second nature to us. And it's important to anchor our identity in the habits we're trying to adopt because it makes it more likely that we'll stick to them.
Interestingly, people often acquire habits from their parents without consciously analyzing whether they are beneficial. However, individuals can become more aware of the choices they have already made and take control of their lives. This awareness allows them to recognize the habits that serve them well and those that do not, and take the necessary steps to improve their habits accordingly.
Actions to take
Establishing Healthy Boundaries
Establishing healthy boundaries is crucial for developing successful habits. As you were growing up, you probably learned about boundaries by testing the waters with the people around you and figuring out what's acceptable based on the results you observed.
But, sometimes, these boundaries can be outdated and based on other people's standards, which can lead to having bad boundaries for the rest of your life.
That's why it's important to challenge these beliefs and create boundaries that support your growth. By taking responsibility for your actions, emotions, and needs instead of those of others, you can establish healthy boundaries. This is especially crucial when it comes to creating new habits since healthy boundaries help you stay on track, structure your time, and focus more on yourself.
Boundary issues typically fall into three categories: being too yessy (saying yes to everything), too much no (saying no to everything), and too controlly (trying to control others). It's important to become aware of these bad boundaries and make a conscious decision to improve them if necessary. That's how you can take back control of your life.
Actions to take
Understanding the Underlying Desires Behind the Habit
Studies have shown that to establish a new habit, we must first have confidence in our ability to change. Without self-confidence, we are less likely to persevere when things get tough, and we may even give up altogether.
It's important to keep in mind that creating a new habit is not just about making positive changes in our lives but also about demonstrating self-care and self-respect. When we make it a priority to form a new habit, we're actively taking care of ourselves and showing ourselves respect.
However, simply focusing on the habit itself is not enough. We need to identify the underlying desires that drive the habit and focus on those instead. By doing so, we can cultivate positive emotions and thoughts that will motivate us to stick to our new habits.
If we want to make a new habit stick, we need to commit to it for a set period of time, typically 21 days. This gives us the time and space we need to develop the discipline and dedication required to make the habit a permanent part of our lives.
Finally, if we do happen to slip up and break our habit, it's crucial to get back on track immediately. One slip-up doesn't mean we've failed; it's important to be kind and compassionate to ourselves as we work toward positive change.
Actions to take
Visualizing and Embodying Your Desired Outcome
Creating a habit can be a powerful way to make changes in your life. To get started, it can be helpful to write down the desired habit in a notebook and repeat it as a mantra. Visualizing ourselves embodying the habit and being aware of any excuses or objections that may come up can also be beneficial.
It's important to note that our brains are like eager dogs that will take in whatever information and energy are given to them. Our experiences will be shaped by what we believe, and our beliefs will be shaped by what we tell ourselves repeatedly.
One effective way to stay on track with your new habit is to mark off each day on a calendar when you successfully participate in it. This can help you become more invested in your progress, give you a sense of accomplishment, and build your confidence.
If you want to introduce a new habit, habit-sharing can be a great strategy. Attaching it to an existing habit and using the “zero-second rule," where you immediately start the new habit without any negotiations or delay, is recommended.
Finally, it's worth remembering that our environment can have a significant impact on our ability to establish and maintain new habits. By having an environment where healthy habits are promoted and supported, it'll be easier for you to establish those habits successfully.
Actions to take
Demonstrating Self-Compassion and Forgiveness
As we go through the process of forming a new habit, it's common to encounter obstacles and setbacks that may discourage us from moving forward. However, it's important to remember that stumbling is a natural part of the process and that we should not dwell too much on our mistakes.
Instead, we should be compassionate and kind to ourselves and use these setbacks as an opportunity to learn and get back on track with our habits as soon as possible.
Rather than wasting time criticizing ourselves or complaining about our mistakes, it's essential to forgive ourselves and move forward. By focusing on self-forgiveness and self-compassion, we can develop a more positive mindset that enables us to persevere through challenges and, ultimately, succeed in forming new habits.