A Complaint Free World: How to Stop Complaining and Start Enjoying the Life You Always Wantedby Will Bowen
A Complaint Free World: How to Stop Complaining and Start Enjoying the Life You Always Wanted is an inspirational guide for transforming one’s life by eliminating the negativity that surrounds the act of complaining. It uncovers great, yet simple truths about one’s pursuit of happiness and it offers a framework for becoming a complaint-free person. It invites the readers to view obstacles as opportunities and to change the way they express themselves verbally in order to change their lives.
Complaining and Health
“What the mind believes, the body manifests.”
People complain for various reasons, but a common one is a belief that they benefit in a certain way from doing so. For some people, complaining has become an integral part of their being, an extension of their personality, so they don’t really perceive the adverse effects on their mental and physical health.
However, there is an intrinsic connection between our minds and our bodies, and it isn’t surprising that our thoughts, beliefs, and convictions influence the state of our bodies.
Extensive research has shown that psychosomatic illnesses originate in the mind and manifest themselves in the body. Essentially, complaining about your health means that your negative thoughts actually affect the health of your body. By poisoning your mind with complaints, you infallibly worsen the state of your physical health.
Actions to take
Complaining and Relationships
“Chronic complainers can end up ostracized by those around them who find their energy drained by the complainer.”
Human relationships are complex and sometimes they are filled with a need for attention or sympathy. In order to achieve this, many people often complain, searching for others to validate their grief or dissatisfaction regarding a certain issue. Unfortunately, constant complaining can lead to ruined relationships with family members, friends, or colleagues.
When you realize that most of the people around you frequently complain, do some self-reflection, and you’ll see that you probably complain a lot, as well. We are often surrounded by people who behave similarly to us.
Gossiping is another form of complaining, especially if it’s focused on somebody’s negative traits, experiences, or actions. The best way to prevent this from happening is to remind yourself to say only positive things about a person in their absence. Or, stick to only saying things that you could repeat verbatim in front of them.
Healthy relationships are based on open and honest communication, not on different forms of complaining.
Actions to take
“A person who is insecure, who doubts their value and questions their importance, will brag and complain.”
Complaining can be interpreted as a manifestation of our insecurities and our lack of self-confidence.
We often ask for validation by complaining, therefore we often hope that we’ll project an image of superiority. For example, when we complain about the quality of the food in a good restaurant, the message we wish to convey is that we have very high standards which haven’t been met. The same applies to bragging. People will low self-esteem often brag and seek approval from their environment, convinced that through this, people admire them.
In reality, the opposite is true: confident people who have nothing to prove to others and who do not hungrily seek external validation do not feel the need to complain or to brag. They are content with themselves, so they do not feel the need to parade either with their accomplishments or with their failures, hoping that they will elicit praise or sympathy from others.
Any complex situation can be viewed either as a problem or as a challenge. Complainers only see the problem and remain blind to the realm of opportunities.
Actions to take
Silence and the Language of Complaint
“Change the words you use and watch your life change.”
Everybody experiences dissatisfaction in their lives. Unfortunately, rarely do people do something about it. When you dwell on negative experiences and thoughts, you cannot move forward with your life and your personal development.
Progress stems out of dissatisfaction. Dissatisfaction should become the driving force towards positive change. Since complaining, as it is presented here, is expressed verbally, the language that we use every day plays a key role in how we shape our lives.
One way to fight the urge to complain pointlessly is to change the vocabulary we use when we express our views and opinions. Our lives can significantly improve if we replace the word “problem” with the word “opportunity,” “setback” with “challenge,” “tormentor,” with “teacher,” “pain” with “signal.” These are only a few examples of how you can start developing a positive habit that removes the negativity of your verbal interactions.
Actions to take
“Your attitude, which is an outward expression of your inner thoughts, dictates how people will relate to you.”
When you start complaining less, you will be able to notice a rising feeling of happiness within, but also in people who surround you. You will start attracting people with a more positive outlook on life, and you will notice that you feel much better emotionally and mentally.
Instead of spending energy on complaining about a variety of situations and people, you will be able to direct this energy towards your self-improvement. People who make a conscious decision to stop complaining look for the positive in any situation. They perceive obstacles as opportunities, rather than insurmountable problems.
Becoming a complaint-free individual will make you a happier, more peaceful, and more mindful person. Emotions such as fear and anger, which fuel complaining, will be either extinguished or transformed into powerful emotions that drive positive change.