Never Split the Difference
Negotiation
Read and label someone’s emotions.

Read and label someone’s emotions.

from Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It by Chris Voss, Tahl Raz

Labeling gives someone’s emotions a name and shows that you identify with how that person feels. It can get you close to someone without asking about unknown external factors. Labeling can act as a shortcut to intimacy.

How to Apply This

  1. Closely observe another’s words, tone, and body language.

  2. When you think you have spotted their feelings, turn them into words and respectfully repeat their emotions back.
    This can be done as a statement or a question. Examples can almost always start with, “It seems like…”, “It sounds like…”, or “It looks like…”

  3. After you have used your statement or question to label their emotions, be quiet and listen.
    Silence invites the other person to reveal themselves.

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