Practice shame resilience.


  1. Recognize what messages and expectations trigger shame for you.
    In what situations do you feel shameful? What expectations do you feel that you are not meeting? Who do you become when you’re backed into that shame corner, and how do you protect yourself? Answering these questions will help you identify your “shame triggers.”

  2. Reality-check your shame triggers.
    Being imperfect doesn’t mean being inadequate; it simply means you are human.

  3. Share your stories with people you trust.
    Shame feeds on secrecy. When you keep your shame to yourself, you allow it to grow inside of you. However, when you share your shameful stories with people you trust, you will gain valuable support from your loved ones that will help dissipate the shame entirely.

  4. Talk about how you are feeling and ask for what you need.
    Don’t shy away from shame. Express your feelings and communicate your needs with those around you.

  5. Identify how you can help yourself.
    What is the most courageous thing you could do for yourself when you feel small and hurt? Remember, different people show courage in different ways. For example, if you’re a confrontational person, showing courage may be taking a step back and not saying anything.


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