Overcome perfectionism.


  1. Understand that perfectionism and shame are connected.
    Shame is the birthplace of perfectionism, and perfectionism only leads to more shame when you fall short of your unreasonable standards.

  2. Recognize that perfection is unattainable.
    Being imperfect means being human.

  3. Acknowledge your vulnerabilities and embrace your imperfections.
    Experiences of shame, judgment, and blame are universal and a normal part of life. Be warm and understanding toward yourself when you fail, suffer, or feel inadequate.

  4. Use healthy-striving self-talk instead of perfectionism self-talk.
    For example, instead of saying, “My clothes don’t fit; I’m fat and ugly; I need to be different to be worthy of love and belonging,” tell yourself, “I want this for me. I want to feel better and be healthier. If I believe that I’m worthy of love and respect now, I will invite courage, compassion, and connection into my life. I can do this.”


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