Identify the upper-limit behaviors that are holding you back

Spot your worrisome thoughts to get out of the worry trap
When you notice yourself worrying about something, ask yourself “Is it a real possibility?” and “Is there anything I can do right now to make a positive difference?” If the answer is Yes, then take action to eliminate further worry. If the answer is No, then let the thought go and shift your focus away from it. Instead, focus on how your body feels. You’ll realize that the worry is simply an upper-limit symptom and has nothing to do with the original thought.

Keenly observe your critical words and thoughts
Take a sheet of paper, draw a line down the middle and label them Side 1 and 2. On Side 1, write down all the criticisms about real things you plan to take action on. On Side 2, write down all the other statements that you’re simply venting about. You’ll notice that the second side is way longer than the first. From here on, be mindful of any critical statements you make, whether mental or verbal.

Acknowledge praise from others instead of deflecting
When someone compliments you, pause for a moment to absorb the positive beam of energy that’s being aimed at you. Then thank the person instead of deflecting their positive comment. For example, if someone compliments you on a job well done, say “Thank you. I’ve been struggling but I’m glad this project ended well” instead of “Yeah, well, I got lucky this time. Anyone could have done this.”

Stop playing the victim and take full responsibility
Instead of squabbling with your spouse over who is the bigger victim during an argument, both of you can take 100 percent responsibility. You can say, “No matter what happened in the past, I now take 100 percent responsibility for creating this conflict and 100 percent responsibility for resolving it.” Then ask the other person to do the same. When both of you claim full responsibility, it becomes easier to end any conflict and move forward together.

Repair your integrity breach to regain wholeness in your life
Let’s say you did things in the past that you feel guilty and shameful about. These negative feelings are affecting your career, business, and relationships. Take time to ask yourself the following questions: Where in my life do I feel out of integrity with myself? What important feelings am I not letting into my awareness? Where in my life am I not telling the full truth? Where in my life have I not kept my promises? These questions will lift you out of the limiting story you’ve been telling yourself.

Adopt an attitude of playfulness when noticing your upper-limit behaviors
Laugh at your flaws instead of beating yourself up over them. In your mind, say “I commit to discovering my upper limit behaviors, and to having a good time while I’m learning about them.” You’ll make extraordinary progress if you maintain a playful attitude toward your shortcomings.