Embrace authenticity, joy, and transparency to create deeper connections

Instructions

  1. Make a friend map to easily locate your friends when you need to
    Take a piece of paper and outline the map of your country. Then start writing down the names of all your close friends on the map according to where they live. Place your “Friend Map” on a wall where you can see it. Occasionally, pick one friend you haven’t talked to for a while and either call them or send them a postcard. This map will remind you of all the friends who care about you, especially when you’re feeling lonely.

  2. Trade your screen time for friend time
    Go to your phone settings, check the average time you spend on social media per day, and write it down on a Post-It note. Place this note on your bathroom mirror so you can see it first thing every morning. Over the next week, spend that same amount of time physically calling or hanging out with friends from your friend map.

  3. Find something that makes you feel whole
    Focus your time and energy on things that make you feel happy instead of doing things for the sake of money or to please people. For example, if you have a passion for traveling and speaking to people, become a public speaker and travel the world helping people. This will bring you more joy, and in your joyful state, you’ll attract people who’re also authentic and joyful.

  4. Hug your friends more and for longer than you normally do
    Hugging releases oxytocin which helps with real bonding. Next time you meet a friend, hug and squeeze them with love. Hug them for as long as possible to show them that they matter to you and you’re happy they’re in your life.

  5. Ask unique questions when meeting people
    When you meet someone new, ask them a different question from the usual ones. For example, ask, “How was your day?” or “What was the silliest thing that happened to you today?” Such questions make for more meaningful and deeper conversations than the usual “What do you do?” or “Where are you from?”

  6. Connect to yourself and embody your feelings to attract the right relationships
    Spend time exploring your emotional needs and connecting with yourself. Your emotions will tell you the kind of connections that you desire to have. Attend yoga and dance classes to create a more embodied connection with yourself. You can also go to connection events where people open up and share their feelings and needs. Engage with as many people as possible to learn the types of people you want to be around and those who you should keep at a distance.

  7. Offer gifts to strangers
    When you’re going out, carry a gift or small offering as a present for anyone you may connect with. It can be as simple as a flower, a handwritten note, a musical instrument, a poem, or a chocolate chip cookie.

  8. Open yourself up to the world when you’re in a new place
    To overcome the anxiety of opening up to strangers after moving to a new city, be genuine with yourself and others. Identify the things that you authentically like to do and share that information with others. When talking to a stranger, stay present and enjoy the moment instead of wondering whether you want to spend the rest of your life with the person. You can also make connecting with strangers a game by playing “Catching smiles.” In this game, try to get as many strangers to smile back at you as you walk home from work.

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