Confront without confrontation


  1. Create a criticism sandwich.
    Just as a sandwich has two pieces of bread around a piece of meat, so should your criticism – except the bread should be positive statements, and the meat your criticism.

  2. Focus on the consequences.
    Instead of telling them that they are wrong, just point out how their actions are negatively affecting you. For example, Instead of telsayingling, ‘You need to park better’, you can say, ‘I keep having to park partially on the lawn as a result of our parking situation, which means that my pants and shoes get muddy. Would it be possible to shift your parking up a few yards?’

  3. Be solution-oriented.
    Start with what resolution each party wants from the criticism. Figure out primary and secondary motivations behind their actions and wants. Then, create a list of possible solutions and resolutions, until one resonates with both parties as acceptable.


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