Build your partner up with words of affirmation.

Words of affirmation will motivate your partner much more than nagging at them. When your partner feels loved and appreciated, they will be more than willing to reciprocate and do the things you want them to do. To put it simply—make them happy, and they will make you happy!


  1. When your partner does something you appreciate, let them know.
    It could be as simple as telling your partner you appreciate it when they take the trash out. Verbal compliments will make your partner feel loved.
  2. Use encouraging words when speaking to your partner.
    If your partner harbors some insecurities about themselves or their capabilities, reassure them. For example, if they feel like their writing skills are not good enough, read something they have written and tell them why you like it. Your encouragement will help assuage their fears and motivate them to keep working at it.
  3. Use kind and humble words to express yourself.
    Let’s say your partner never helps out with the household chores. Instead of being rude or passive aggressive, tell them that you feel disappointed and hurt at their lack of help, then, kindly request that they put in more effort. When they are not feeling attacked, they will be more likely to do what you want them to do.
  4. Indirectly affirm your partner.
    Tell others how much you love and appreciate your partner. Eventually, someone will tell them and you will get full credit. Other methods of indirectly affirming your partner include sharing credit with your partner when you are being publicly commended for something, or writing down words of affirmation (for example, in a love letter) as written words can be read over and over again.
Take action!
Our mobile app, BooksInAction, will guide you on how to acquire this skill.
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