Become an adult.
Adolescent transactional values create relationships that are built upon manipulation. With this value system, people can’t become successful in the emotional world. You never live your own life; you live only to please others. The only logical way to improve the world is to improve ourselves by growing up and becoming more virtuous.
- See values as virtues.
Trust for the sake of trust. Respect for the sake of respect. Love for the sake of love. Don’t have a hidden agenda and don’t wait for anything in return.
- Embrace the idea that relationships make you vulnerable.
Acting unconditionally—giving love, trust, respect, and happiness requires some degree of faith. This is faith that it’s the right thing to do, even if it results in more pain.
- Drop the need to validate your self-worth from the outside.
Adult self-worth is independent. It’s largely internally validated. There is no need for approval or recognition from others to do what is right.
- Change the motivation for your actions.
Act in daily life without relying on an imagined vision of hope. Don’t hope for a better life, simply have a better life.
- Be consistently self-aware.
Check that you’re doing things unconditionally. Don’t see everything, including people, as a means for some pleasurable end. Don’t act out of fear of negative consequences. Do what’s right because it’s right.
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