Asking for a “no.”

Saying “no” makes the speaker feel safe, secure, and in control. So trigger a “no” response. By saying what they don’t want, your counterpart defines their space and gains confidence and comfort by listening to you. “No” is not a failure. Learn how to hear someone’s “no” or negative statement calmly. It is not the end of the negotiations, but the beginning.

Instructions

  1. Intentionally mislabel one of your counterpart’s emotions or desires, or ask a ridiculous question that can only be answered negatively or with a “no.”
    For example, “It seems like you want this project to fail.”
  2. After you have mislabeled your counterpart’s emotions or feelings, or you’ve asked a “no” question, be quiet and listen to their response.
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