Why Gratitude Alone Keeps You Quiet and Settled
Emma loved her role as a marketing associate. She was the go-to person for email campaigns and brand visuals. Her inbox pinged constantly, and each completed project felt like a mini-victory. Yet when the annual review came around, she just smiled and nodded as her male colleagues discussed bonuses and promotions. A knot of frustration tightened in her chest.
After watching a negotiation workshop online, Emma decided to pair gratitude with ambition. She began by writing down her recent wins: three campaigns that hit double the expected click-through rates and a new brand guide she’d developed solo. Then she noted areas where she felt undervalued—a title that didn’t reflect her impact and a salary below peers. Emma took one example and shaped it into a proposal: a title change to Senior Associate and a 12% raise.
She scheduled a meeting with her manager in a quiet conference room and opened with appreciation: “I’m grateful for the team’s support on my recent campaigns.” She then laid out her achievements and asked, “Based on this performance, I’d like to discuss a promotion to Senior Associate and a 12% salary adjustment.” She paused, let the numbers and evidence speak, and answered questions calmly.
Two weeks later, Emma got the title change and an 8% raise. She didn’t get everything she asked for on the first try, but she adjusted and asked again after a quarter of exceeding new goals. Research on self-advocacy shows that combining genuine gratitude with clear, evidence-based requests increases positive responses and long-term career growth.
She starts by listing her recent wins and feels truly grateful for each one. Next, she identifies where she’s under-rewarded—whether in title, pay, or project scope—and crafts a clear, data-backed request. Then she chooses a calm setting to discuss her proposal, opens with genuine appreciation, and lays out her achievements before making her ask. Finally, she listens actively, adjusts if needed, and follows up. Try this before your next performance review.
What You'll Achieve
You’ll develop a balanced mindset that pairs appreciation with assertiveness, boosting self-confidence and perceived value. Externally, this leads to clearer promotion pathways, higher compensation, and improved professional recognition.
Balance Appreciation With Bold Demands
List recent wins
Spend two minutes listing successes from the past week—big or small—and feel genuine appreciation for each one.
Identify what you deserve
For each win, write down one area where you feel under-rewarded or undervalued, like pay, recognition, or resources.
Craft a clear request
Turn one of those gaps into a specific ask—e.g., “I’d like a 10% raise” or “I need two hours of dedicated project time.”
Plan your delivery
Decide when and how you’ll raise this request, choosing a supportive setting and preparing key points to stay calm and focused.
Reflection Questions
- What am I deeply grateful for in my current role?
- Where do I consistently feel under-rewarded?
- How would I phrase a specific, evidence-based request for more?
Personalization Tips
- At work, after a successful presentation, ask your manager for stretch assignments or a title upgrade.
- In friendships, if you’ve been the always-on listener, request that your friend reciprocate by checking in on you once a week.
- When volunteering, propose new roles you’d like to lead instead of quietly waiting for assignments.
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