Why “Who” Questions Outperform Any “How” Question

You’ve stared at that blank page for days, wondering how on earth you’ll finish your report. Every evening you sit at your desk, tension knotting your shoulders as the clock ticks. That familiar itch of procrastination creeps in: “Maybe tomorrow I’ll figure out the steps.”

One Friday afternoon, you slam your laptop shut and admit you’re stuck. You remember a colleague who breezes through similar projects. You breathe in, shake down your hesitation, and send a quick note: "Hey, I admire how you tackled the last report—could you walk me through your approach?" Your phone buzzes within minutes with an enthusiastic yes.

Orbiting their guidance feels strangely liberating. You schedule a twenty-minute chat that Monday, jot down concise tips, and by Wednesday you’ve drafted half your report—and it’s sharp, focused, and done in under four hours. You didn’t sweat the details; you simply tapped into someone who already knew the path.

You might be wrong, but this simple switch has roots in behavioral science: shifting from a method-focused mindset to a collaboration-focused mindset reduces decision fatigue and boosts progress. It’s instant access to specialized expertise, bypassing the trial-and-error loop. Now instead of asking “How?” you instinctively ask, “Who?”

You start by writing down three goals that excite you most. Next, you pause and ask yourself, “Who already has the skills I need?” You send each person a brief, respectful invite explaining your vision and why only they can help. Then you propose how you can support them in return—maybe an introduction or a small task you can handle. Treat this as your new habit: every time a goal arises, go straight to a willing Who and clear the path to progress. Give it a try tonight.