How to Turn Life’s Worst Enemies into Your Allies

Centuries ago, Buddhist masters described Mara’s arrows—swords of doubt, emotion, and distraction—firing at those seeking enlightenment. Pema Chödrön reframes these ‘attacks’ as invaluable teachers. What we initially perceive as enemies—anger, envy, fear—actually point to habitual patterns that keep us small.

Imagine you’re about to give feedback to a peer. A wave of anxiety hits and your first instinct is to clam up. You name it, ‘nervousness,’ and you picture Mara’s arrow as a glowing dart that’s just come your way. Instead of recoiling, you mentally invite it in. You sense its sharp edge in your belly and remain with that damping heat rather than ducking away.

By observing and honoring this discomfort, you transform it into information. You might discover that your mind is stuck on past criticism or that you fear letting someone down. This curious inquiry—’What is this feeling trying to tell me?’—uncovers buried needs: clarity, respect, or support.

Behavioral science calls this reframing: turning stimuli from threats into signals. Neuroscience confirms that welcoming difficult sensations increases prefrontal engagement, boosting creativity rather than triggering survival tactics. You literally build new neural pathways for adaptive responses.

Next time a ‘Mara dart’ strikes, greet it. Thank it for revealing where you’re holding back. That generosity of spirit toward your own pain dissolves the sense of enemy and opens a path forward.

Whenever anger, envy, or fear strikes, pause and name the impulse you usually follow to escape or defend. Invite that feeling in by picturing it riding on an arrow, then stay with the bodily sensations it awakens. Ask yourself what message it carries—perhaps about your needs or blind spots—and note your insight. Finally, silently thank it for helping you see where growth lies and resume your activity with a fresh perspective. Use this method the next time you feel personally under attack.