You don’t control every thought but you can choose which to follow

You’re sitting at your desk when you realize your heart’s racing—your inbox has piled up, and you can’t stop imagining worst-case scenarios. You feel the tension in your shoulders and hear a faint buzzing from your phone. I might be wrong, but there’s always that instant when your mind locks onto the wrong thought, and you follow it down a rabbit hole.

Last week, I was about to send an email pitching a new idea when a wave of “What if they hate it?” grabbed me. My fingers hovered above the keyboard as I pictured rejection. Then I remembered a simple trick: I could decide what to focus on. I closed my eyes, labeled the fear, and deliberately refocused on a memory of past successes. Instantly, my posture eased.

That shift reminded me of a rowing boat caught in waves. Instead of letting each wave carry me off course, I steered back toward the shore I’d chosen. The same applies to your mind—you can’t stop every thought from rising, but you can steer toward the one you want.

Neuroscience calls this "cognitive control," the brain’s ability to amplify desired thoughts and suppress distractions. With practice, you strengthen the neural pathways that lead to clarity. Next time you find yourself lost in doubt, remember: You don’t have to ride every wave your mind sends you.

Every time you notice your thoughts pulling you off course, pause and label what’s happening—worry, plan, memory—and take a deep breath. Then consciously select one constructive thought, perhaps a next step on a project or a positive recollection of past wins. In the evening, jot down every redirection so you’ll see how often you steer yourself toward productivity and calm. Give it a try tonight.