Your brain fills gaps with drama, so slow down and demand the facts

Humans are natural story‑makers. When we don’t know why something happened, our brains fill the gap fast, and often with the worst‑case version. A manager says, “Clean up a little,” and we hear, “You’re sloppy.” A delayed reply turns into, “They’re mad at me.” This isn’t weakness, it’s wiring. The amygdala raises alarms first, the prefrontal cortex catches up later. The room smells like coffee and dry marker as you stare at a short email that lands wrong. Your jaw tightens.

You run the FACTS check. First, you label the feeling: “I’m irritated and a bit worried.” That simple naming takes the edge off. Then you write only what a camera could see: “Email says ‘tighten the intro and cut 200 words.’” No motives yet. You add one alternative explanation that a calmer you might consider: “Maybe they’re rushing between meetings and kept it short.” You ask for clarity: “Do you want more examples or fewer?” The reply is quick, “Fewer—deadline moved up.” Your body lets go.

Last week, you did the opposite. You ruminated for an hour, rewrote the whole piece twice, and ended up deleting both versions. That micro‑anecdote taught you something: long stewing isn’t thinking, it’s suffering. Today you timebox five minutes, choose one action, and return to your work.

This is cognitive reappraisal and evidence‑based thinking in action. Labeling emotions (affect labeling) dampens amygdala activity. Separating facts from interpretations reduces cognitive fusion. Generating alternative explanations and testing them interrupts confirmation bias. Timeboxing shrinks rumination, which is strongly linked to anxiety and depression. You don’t need to be perfect at this. You only need a short pause and a pen.

When your chest tightens over a message or comment, pause and name the exact emotion out loud, then write only what a camera could capture so you can see the facts without added motives. Create one kinder, plausible explanation and, if you can, ask a short clarifying question to test it. Give yourself five minutes to think and then choose one action, even if it’s small, or consciously drop the thread. Try the FACTS check on the very next email that spikes your pulse.