Make willpower irrelevant by ritualizing what matters

Maya led a product team and felt like she was running all day with no real traction. Her calendar was full of helpful things that kept her from the important work. Instead of vowing to “try harder,” she built two small rituals tied to a version of herself she wanted to trust.

“I’m the kind of leader who finishes one deep work block before the world gets me,” she wrote. So she designed the behavior in detail: at 9:30 a.m., in the small conference room, she put her phone in a drawer, set a 90‑minute timer, and worked on one design spec. The on‑ramp was a 2‑minute starter: fill a bottle, open the doc, write the title. On her second ritual, she wanted to leave with energy for her family. At 5:30 p.m., she wrote tomorrow’s three priorities, closed the laptop, and walked to the train with a podcast she loved.

The first week, she missed twice. Rather than blame herself, she changed the environment. She asked her team to protect that morning block, and she booked the room for the month. She also moved one recurring status meeting to an email update. By week three, the rituals “pulled” her. One afternoon, her coffee went cold as she stayed in flow. She laughed and kept typing.

This is how rituals work. They conserve willpower by running on cues and context. Implementation intentions—deciding when, where, and how—make the brain’s autopilot a partner. Tiny starters lower activation energy. A one‑line log gives feedback without shaming, so you tweak the system instead of arguing with yourself. You end up acting like the person you intended to be because it’s easier than not.

Choose an identity you want to embody—maybe you’re the kind of person who does deep work before email or arrives home with fuel left—then define the when, where, and how so clearly that you can’t miss it. Add a 2‑minute starter to reduce friction, and keep a one‑line daily log to notice snags and adjust your environment. Ask others to help protect the window. Over a couple of weeks, the ritual will start to pull you. Set up your first one for tomorrow morning.