Why fighting urges only makes them stronger

You’re sitting at your desk when a craving for chocolate hits—your stomach tenses, and your mind loops on sweet images. Instead of reaching into the drawer, you pause and ask, “Where do I feel this?” Your gaze lingers on the faint hum of the computer, and you sense a flutter in your chest. You whisper, “That’s craving,” and for a moment, you’re curious rather than ashamed.

As you breathe slowly, counting four seconds in, four out, the flutter rides a wave, rising and falling in gentle arcs. You imagine yourself on a surfboard, rocking atop a wave of desire that isn’t permanent. The urge swells, peaks, then ebbs—just like it does by the shoreline. You notice the tension drain out of your shoulders and realize the craving no longer commands you.

Mindfulness research shows urges are fleeting electrical pulses, not commands etched in stone. By observing them without judgment and focusing on breath, you trigger the brain’s quieting circuits. What seemed urgent dissolves into background noise, and you find yourself simply breathing—free from the impulse to indulge.

You start by pinpointing where the urge lives—maybe a tight chest or fluttering stomach. You name it silently and shift to mindful breathing for two minutes, imagining you’re riding a wave rather than fighting it. You wait out the peak, confident it will subside in about half an hour. This approach transforms the struggle into curiosity and ends the tug-of-war. Try surfing your next urge.