Borrow courage by serving a purpose bigger than your fear

Your throat tightens before you speak up in the meeting. You were ready last night, but the room’s energy makes your notes feel thin. You glance at the top of the page, where you wrote a small line: “This helps Maya and the support team fix repeat tickets.” The knot loosens a notch. It’s not about you sounding smart, it’s about saving them hours.

You say your piece, voice a little shaky, and suggest a tweak to the onboarding screen. Someone asks a hard question. You take a breath and reply, “I don’t know yet; I’ll test it with three users by Friday.” After the call, you text a colleague your plan because you don’t want to let her down. Friday comes, you have messy results and two clear changes.

The trick, you notice, is that service reframes nerves as fuel. When you think of the person you’re helping, you borrow courage from their needs. It’s the same reason firefighters train with names on their sleeves and why parents move mountains when kids are involved. We are wired to move when someone we care about benefits.

Psychologically, this is self‑distancing and prosocial motivation. By shifting attention from “me” to “them,” threat appraisal drops and approach behaviors rise. Pairing that with a buddy ritual adds social accountability, which is one of the most reliable behavior drivers we’ve got. Fear doesn’t vanish. It just stops being the boss.

Write the name of the person or group you’re helping at the top of your plan and finish the sentence, “Doing this helps them because…” Keep it visible while you work. Set a brief check‑in with a peer so you have someone to update, then act and report back—even if the result is messy. When you stumble, note the lesson and how it helps your person next time. Make your next hard action about someone else and do it this week.