Borrow discipline by upgrading your circle of influence

Derek had tried to build a morning routine three times and quit three times. He wasn’t lazy, he was alone. At the office, the early starters compared playlists and shared coffee beans. At home, his only feedback was the phone buzzing before dawn. He asked a colleague, Maya, if she wanted to try a simple check‑in. They both laughed, then scheduled it.

Mondays and Thursdays at 8:15, five minutes only. They shared a single slide in a cloud folder. Plan in one line, next call they reported “done” or “not done,” then adjusted. No speeches. On day one, Derek messaged a photo of his notebook open at 6:35 next to a mug with a chipped rim. Maya posted her step count at lunch. Two weeks later, they were swapping tips—she moved her alarm, he set out water and shoes. The tiny public record kept them honest without shaming.

To make the new normal even more normal, Derek joined a small online group where people post a daily “start” timestamp. Seeing a stream of ordinary wins made his own feel less fragile. He also quietly unfollowed a friend who joked about “morning people” in a way that made him second‑guess himself. Freeing, not dramatic.

Accountability is leverage. Social proof shows what “people like us” do, and we drift toward it. Regular check‑ins create a commitment device, the shared evidence reduces stories, and trimming low‑support inputs protects momentum. The research on social norms, identity, and commitment contracts all point the same direction: you don’t rise to the level of your goals, you rise with your group.

Ask one person you trust to run a two‑week experiment with a shared, narrow behavior. Put two five‑minute check‑ins on the calendar at the same time each week. Agree to post simple evidence—time started, page count, steps—so you skip long explanations. Join one small community where your behavior is normal, and mute one feed or chat that undercuts it. Keep the loop light and consistent, then renew if it’s working. Send the invite this afternoon.