Radical accountability beats victimhood and puts you back in control

It’s easy to hand your steering wheel to someone else. Algorithms, bosses, the economy, luck—there’s always a “they” to blame. But blame never fixes a system. Accountability does, because it gives you a lever to pull now, not later.

A colleague once had her identity stolen while traveling. At lunch, she vented about the bank and the thieves. We listened, then asked how it happened. She realized her purse was hanging on the back of her chair in a crowded cafe. The next day, she bought a cross‑body bag with a zipper and set a phone reminder to check for it before leaving. The fix wasn’t heroic, but it was hers.

Another micro‑anecdote: a team kept missing deadlines. They blamed “unexpected requests.” We drew their real process on a whiteboard and noticed that nothing had a cut‑off time. They added a Tuesday noon rule for changes. Two weeks later, delivery was on time, and the office smelled more like coffee than panic.

Psychology calls this an internal locus of control, the belief that your choices influence outcomes. You’ll still face unfairness, but your energy shifts from outrage to design. You own your role, add prevention, and calendar a check. Repeat that loop and your life starts to feel steerable again.

Pick one problem that’s been bugging you, write a single‑sentence description, and underline your part in it. Decide on one prevention step you can install in 30 minutes, like a checklist, autopay, or a new rule of engagement, and put it in place before the day ends. Add a two‑week calendar reminder to check whether the fix is holding. Keep the focus narrow so you feel the difference fast. Start with one problem today.