Freedom Starts When You Stop Caring What Others Think

You’re heading into the office and catch yourself worrying how your new haircut will land. Your inner critic asks, “Will they like it?” You remember a brief from the NotSorry Method: stop caring about what others think. You lean into that discomfort—feeling the itch of potential judgment—and pause. You breathe deeply, remind yourself you chose this style because you like it, and walk into the meeting without a second look at the mirror app.

Later, you catch your coworker glancing, but you smile and redirect your focus to the agenda. Each time you skip the usual self-doubt, the sensation of approval-seeking loses its grip. You’re surprised at how energizing it feels to move through your day unburdened by imagined opinions. Maybe you’re wrong, but fewer performance checks lead to more flow in your work.

This practice taps into identity theory: by shifting your self-definition from “Please-pleaser” to “Self-owner,” you change your social feedback loop. Neuroscience tells us that repeated exposure to small social risks rewires the amygdala’s fear response, making you more resilient. Eventually, you internalize confidence and stop trading precious mental energy for others’ nods.

Imagine catching yourself itching for validation—maybe before an important meeting or a casual grocery run—then pausing to ask whether this really matters to you or only to others. Next, you craft a brief inner mantra like "I’m comfortable with my choice," practice it in low-stakes moments, and skip the extra prep you only did for approval. Notice how liberating it feels when you stop chasing others’ opinions and focus on what you actually want. Try it today.