Balance wanting with expecting or you’ll press the gas and the brake at once

Motivation science shows two levers drive action: how much you want an outcome (valence) and how much you expect your effort will work (expectancy). When they’re balanced, behavior feels frictionless. When they’re mismatched, you stall or self‑sabotage. Imagine flooring the gas while riding the brake. The engine works hard, but you don’t move far.

A college senior told me, “I desperately want a product role.” Her desire was a 9, but her expectation was a 3. She’d saved a few job postings, then opened Instagram. We built belief bridges (“I can tailor one resume today”) and right‑sized the target (“apply to one associate role at a mission‑fit company”). Her expectation rose to 6, and the next action felt doable. A week later, she’d shipped two solid applications. Micro‑anecdote: “Funny how much easier it was when I believed the step mattered.”

In another case, a manager rated expectation at 8—he knew he could land a lateral promotion—but desire at 3, because the culture didn’t fit. He kept procrastinating. Instead of forcing action, we fanned desire by crafting vivid scenes of the kind of team he’d love, and expanded his search. Once desire rose to 7, he took two coffees that led to a better fit.

Expectancy‑Value Theory and related models (like Temporal Motivation Theory) explain why willpower alone fails. If you either doubt success or don’t value the outcome, motivation decays. Balancing both levers by belief‑bridging, rescoping goals, or enriching value through identity and visualization creates clean approach motivation. Then your smallest next step becomes a natural expression, not a battle.

Give your current goal two separate ratings, one for desire and one for expectation, and look at the gap. If you want it more than you believe in it, bridge belief or shrink the target to a milestone you trust. If you believe you could do it but don’t care, enrich value with a vivid scene, an identity link, or a partner who shares it. Then pick a small, congruent action and see if you take it. If you hesitate, recalibrate and try again. Recheck weekly so both levers stay aligned. Do this tonight with your top goal.