Turn competitors into worthy rivals who reveal your blind spots

A mid‑sized software company treated a nearby startup like a villain. Meetings included jokes at their expense. The head of product suggested a rival review instead: pick two things they clearly did better, and learn. The team bought their subscription, onboarded like a customer, and kept a neutral log. The office hummed with that low fan noise of laptops while they clicked through flows. Someone said quietly, “Their first‑time experience is frictionless. We ask for eight fields; they ask for two.”

They found a second strength: a community welcome that felt like a warm handshake. A real name signed the email and invited new users to a short, optional call. “I booked one,” a PM admitted. “They actually asked what I hoped to achieve this week.” No one loved admitting this, but the whiteboard filled with ideas. One engineer shared a micro‑anecdote: “I tried their help doc at 10 p.m. It answered my weird edge case in two steps.” Respect crept in, almost accidentally.

They translated observations into moves that fit their values. They trimmed the sign‑up form to essentials and added a plain‑language welcome that invited a quick call. They didn’t copy branding, they copied care. When someone slipped into contempt—“Their pricing is a gimmick”—the product head paused them. “What strength are we refusing to see because we disagree?” The room went quiet, then someone said, “Their transparency page is superb.” They added one of their own.

Research on upward social comparisons shows that rivals can improve effort and strategy when we focus on learning rather than ego. The team carved out two hours a month for respectful rival reviews. Within a quarter, activation improved and customer emails felt friendlier. Hard truth: rivals are mirrors. Treat them like that and you get better faster.

Choose two rivals who excel where you struggle and write exactly what they do well. Use their product or service like a customer and log three admired practices and the belief you think powers them. Turn each admired practice into one test that fits your values, not a clone. When contempt pops up, name it and ask what strength you’re avoiding. Block two hours next month to run your first review.