Anchor your purpose beyond personal loss
When I lost Corrie, my world tore open like a book whipped across the lawn. I thought my identity, my purpose, lay in being her husband. Suddenly, that title slipped through my fingers like sand. Watching night-snow drift through shattered windows, I realised the pain wasn’t just agony—it was a gift. I’d been tethered to a single role, and now the universe yanked me free. Wounded, I launched into caves and climbed steel towers, chasing relics of other lives: a bootlegger’s fortune, an outlaw’s sword. Yet none of that filled me until I paused and asked, “Who am I without this?” I summoned those three moments—say, the day I spoke at a community party, or when I helped my son build a treehouse—and mined them for values: empathy, tenacity, authenticity. These turned me from a wounded husband into something bigger: a man who crafts stories to help others find their own roots. This shift from loss to purpose is echoed in Viktor Frankl’s logotherapy: meaning emerges not in comfort but through the crucible of suffering.
First, jot your three most ’alive’ memories—nuanced snapshots when you felt fully you. Next, distill each into a single value word—courage, creativity, loyalty—then choose the two that resonate most deeply. Finally, weave them into a one-sentence purpose statement you can post beside your mirror. This simple exercise reclaims your identity from loss and reorients you toward what truly matters. Consider drafting it tonight.
What You'll Achieve
You’ll rebuild a sense of purpose independent of external roles, leading to deeper motivation and resilience.
Define your core identity
List pivotal life moments
Write down three moments when you felt completely yourself—first job, a family milestone, a creative triumph. These anchor points ground your identity.
Extract core values
For each moment, jot the one value you lived out—integrity, courage, kindness. Circle the two you connect with most strongly.
Here’s my purpose statement
Draft one sentence that combines your top two values with an action, e.g., “I help families heal through honest conversation.” Keep it in sight for tough days.
Reflection Questions
- What three moments have defined who I really am?
- Which two values shine brightest in those memories?
- How might a new purpose statement guide my next steps?
Personalization Tips
- In career: “I mentor new hires to find confidence in their skills.”
- In parenting: “I create a home where every child feels safe.”
- In health: “I strengthen body and mind through daily movement.”],
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- When I lost Corrie, my world tore open like a book whipped across the lawn. I thought my identity, my purpose, lay in being her husband. Suddenly, that title slipped through my fingers like sand. Watching night-snow drift through shattered windows, I realised the pain wasn’t just agony—it was a gift. I’d been tethered to a single role, and now the universe yanked me free. Wounded, I launched into caves and climbed steel towers, chasing relics of other lives: a bootlegger’s fortune, an outlaw’s sword. Yet none of that filled me until I paused and asked, “Who am I without this?” I summoned those three moments—say, the day I spoke at a community party, or when I helped my son build a treehouse—and mined them for values: empathy, tenacity, authenticity. These turned me from a wounded husband into something bigger: a man who crafts stories to help others find their own roots. This shift from loss to purpose is echoed in Viktor Frankl’s logotherapy: meaning emerges not in comfort but through the crucible of suffering.
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- First, jot your three most ’alive’ memories—nuanced snapshots when you felt fully you. Next, distill each into a single value word—courage, creativity, loyalty—then choose the two that resonate most deeply. Finally, weave them into a one-sentence purpose statement you can post beside your mirror. This simple exercise reclaims your identity from loss and reorients you toward what truly matters. Consider drafting it tonight.
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The Hero Code: Lessons Learned from Lives Well Lived
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