Turn setbacks into springboards by changing the story you tell

A regional account manager missed her quarter by a wide margin after two large prospects went silent in the same week. Her belief hardened fast: “I’m not cut out for enterprise deals.” Sleep got worse, emails slowed, and she skipped a weekly pipeline review because she couldn’t stand the questions. Her coffee went cold before noon two days in a row. When a colleague finally asked how she was, she said, “Fine,” and changed the subject. The real cost wasn’t only the number. It was the spiral that belief triggered.

Her director sat down with her and ran the ABCD drill on a single page. Adversity: two target accounts stalled after budget freezes. Belief: “I blew it,” “I can’t reach senior buyers,” “This will happen again.” Consequences: avoidance, lost energy, brittle tone with marketing. Dispute: If budget froze, then skill wasn’t the main driver. Counterfact: “Lucky I found out before legal review.” Third Path: Use the quiet quarter to map relationships, practice one new executive conversation, and ask a mentor to role‑play. She also sent a short value note to each stalled account with a specific cost-saving idea.

Two weeks later, her energy returned. One prospect replied to the idea, another introduced her to their finance lead, and she booked three discovery calls with net‑new logos. She didn’t close a miracle in a week, but the spiral reversed. More importantly, she learned to change the story quickly next time instead of waiting for the calendar to save her.

The framework matters. Counterfactual thinking helps you choose a better “what might have happened” so the present feels workable. Explanatory style—local and temporary instead of global and permanent—predicts persistence. The ABCD method organizes your brain when emotion is loud, replacing helplessness with a small plan that points up. That’s how you bounce forward, not just back.

When the next setback hits, take five minutes to write a cool-headed description of what happened, then get honest about the belief you formed and how it changed your actions. Now argue with that belief the way you’d protect a friend—what else could be true, and what small advantage might be hiding here? Pick one counterfact that makes you fortunate and one tiny next step that moves you toward the Third Path, like a value note, a practice call, or a short fix. Keep the page where you’ll see it tomorrow and build from there. Give it a try tonight.