Define Success on Your Own Terms

Humans are wired to compare—we size up our talents by others’ yardsticks. But when you let society’s status markers become your personal metrics, you’re playing someone else’s game. Thought leader David Brooks calls résumé virtues the shiny badges we display, while eulogy virtues are the character qualities we hope to be remembered for. Consider the law school rankings debacle: schools chased one published metric so relentlessly they forgot their founding missions. The ranking became the mission. This is value capture at scale: we abandon meaningful variety for the lure of a single number. Instead, experts recommend self-determination—defining success with intrinsic criteria you deeply care about, then aligning your actions accordingly. When those personal goals conflict with external signals, you’ll face a conscious choice: follow your own compass or that of the crowd. By intentionally specifying the terms of success, you reclaim autonomy and reduce the anxiety of perpetual comparison.

You’ll spend ten focused minutes listing three deeply meaningful outcomes for you—like freedom or community impact—and then list the external status markers you feel pressured by, like salary or titles. Finally, craft a one-sentence manifesto—“I succeed when…”—and post it at your desk. This clarity lets you choose which games you want to play—start drafting tonight.