Stay Calm with Persistent Pursuers to Shorten the Chase

When someone won’t let go—be it a boss you fired, a boyfriend you dumped, or a stranger who crossed lines—every reply you send becomes fuel. My client Mike learned the hard way: each call he returned convinced his pursuer he still had influence.

He’d been patient, polite, even apologetic, all to no avail. Every phone buzz sent his pulse racing again. It wasn’t until he went completely silent that the messages finally stopped. Silence was the sharpest barrier he could build.

Research on unwanted pursuit shows that engagement equals reinforcement. The more attention you provide, the longer the chase. Instead, a graded withdrawal—first muting calls, then blocking channels—lets the other person experience the emptiness of unanswered outreach. Over time, fatigue and frustration set in.

Silence isn’t passive acceptance. It’s an assertive choice to remove your energy from the drama. In the hush that follows, you reclaim your peace and literally let the stalker’s momentum run out.

Choose one channel—text, social media, even your front door—and stop responding. Notify a friend that you’ll pause there for two weeks. Let your phone buzz unanswered and notice your fear ease. When that chapter closes, add the next channel. Staying calm and detached disarms the most determined pursuer. Give it a try this week.