Give real-time permission to argue so debate sticks

Early in my consulting career, I led a design workshop that derailed quickly. Everyone nodded politely, but the biggest objections hid beneath forced smiles. It reminded me of a middle school science fair where no one dared challenge the star project—until the host said bluntly, “Speak up or we’ll all get an F.” Suddenly, hands shot up.

I borrowed that tactic: at the next workshop, I kicked off with, “I want loud disagreements—no harm, only truth.” When a senior exec steered the group away from budget issues, I interrupted gently, “Are we putting this off because we’re uneasy?” The room went still, then Frank spoke up, “Yes, I have concerns.”

By the end of the session, the team had hashed out every barrier and left with a bulletproof plan. They even joked about how much they enjoyed the “safe shouting.” From then on, I always opened meetings by giving real-time permission to fight for the best idea.

Behavioral science tells us that norms—shared rules of engagement—shape what we dare to do. A single explicit norm can unlock a team’s voice.

You know that awkward lull when no one wants to press on a hot topic? Start your next meeting by saying, “Healthy debate is welcome here”—then actually enforce it when someone tries to steer clear. Pause the discussion, name the discomfort, and reassure everyone that this is exactly where breakthroughs happen. Thank the first brave soul who jumps in to criticize a plan, and close that debate by highlighting how it improved the outcome. You’ll see arguments fly—and real progress follow. Try it tomorrow morning.