Take the conversational risk to unlock hidden connections

Debra had always avoided business mixers, slipping in late and leaving early to dodge small-talk nightmares. At her first industry event after launching her coaching practice, panic set in as she scanned the room full of strangers.

A flash of memory stopped her. In college, she’d hesitated at a party, too shy to speak up—until her roommate pushed her across the room. Mustering courage, she said hello to a guy sipping soda alone. They ended up friends for years. Debra realized the risk was worth it.

That night, she found a woman standing by the buffet table, smiling, but alone. Debra took a breath, said, “Hi, I’m Debra Fine.” The woman’s face lit up. They dove into stories about juggling family and careers. Minutes felt like seconds.

Psychologists note that taking the first step to connect reduces social anxiety by reframing focus from self to other. By assuming the host’s role, Debra built a genuine bridge over her own fear and discovered her most fulfilling conversations live just beyond the comfort zone.

You’ve seen how saying hello can transform your night. Next time you walk into a group, remind yourself that everyone here fears rejection, too. Take a deep breath, catch someone’s eye, smile, and step forward to introduce yourself. Ask why they came or what they find interesting about the event. Own that moment as the host and watch the conversation blossom.