Uncover Your Invisible Beliefs That Shape Every Decision

You’ve just walked out of a difficult one-on-one. Your colleague’s words sting, but your private thoughts pierce sharper. You retreat to your desk, pull out a notebook, and write down every fleeting judgment that you didn’t express: “She thinks I’m incompetent,” “He wants me gone,” “They must not respect me.”

These private thoughts are your mental models—deep assumptions shaping your reactions, choices, and even your body’s stress response. When left unexamined, they steer your behavior like invisible currents in a river. You find yourself avoiding next-steps because “they don’t appreciate my ideas,” or overcompensating with extra emails to cover “their lack of trust.”

But in that quiet moment, you decide to turn observer. You label each private thought as exactly what it is: an assumption—not fact. You close your eyes, feel your chest rise and fall, and practice leaning into curiosity rather than judgment. You practice seeing your assumptions as passing clouds.

Later, breathing calmly, you approach your colleague. “I noticed I felt that you weren’t listening in the meeting—did I miss your point?” This vulnerable pause lets them explain, and you discover your hidden assumption was wrong. You’ve exchanged an invisible burden for clear insight, and your river of thought shifts direction.

Next time you feel stung by someone’s words, pause and list your private reactions. Notice each as an assumption, not truth. Breathe, then gently invite their perspective: “I want to check if I’m misreading things.” That small act of naming your mental models can transform tension into genuine connection.