Approach Challenges from a ‘We’ Perspective

You’re nervous about speaking up in a quarterly review with execs. Your palms sweat as you imagine judgment if your recommendations seem self-serving. Anxiety peaks. But then you remember the advice to lead with ‘we.’ You stand and say, “Our sales team hit a plateau last month, and here’s what we tested to reverse the trend.” The tone of the room shifts. Colleagues lean forward, nodding—the message isn’t about you alone, it’s about them, too. The executives ask questions, eager to know more.

Later, you see how that simple pivot changed everything. Behavioral science calls it “self-transcendence” —evoking a higher purpose releases oxytocin, boosting trust and lowering stress. You feel calmer because your brain’s fear-center is quieter, replaced by a sense of connection.

Over time, adopting a ‘we’ language becomes second nature. Before long you notice that making suggestions for group wins carries less personal risk. You speak up with sharper clarity, and you’re seen as collaborative, not self-aggrandizing.

Turning the spotlight outward is also a confidence magnet: as you elevate others, they elevate you. It’s a virtuous cycle rooted in social psychology—people help others who have helped them. Your bravery to shift perspective pays you back in trust and respect.

Next time you’re about to pitch an idea, start by explaining how it benefits the whole. Use phrases like ‘we have an opportunity’ or ‘our team can leverage.’ Ask open-ended questions to draw people into problem-solving with you. As they engage, let go of the spotlight on yourself and focus on shared success. That outward focus will calm your nerves and build genuine buy-in—because confidence rooted in service feels natural and strong. Try it in tomorrow’s meeting.