Turn coaching into a habit with tiny triggers and sixty‑second moves

You don’t need a personality transplant to coach better. You need a tiny move you can do on your worst day. Start with the moment you usually slip. Maybe it’s the beginning of a one‑to‑one where small talk eats eight of fifteen minutes. Maybe it’s a Slack ping that fires your advice cannon before you’ve read the second line. Pick one trigger, the exact beat where the choice happens. When the calendar chime sounds or the DM pops up, that’s your cue.

Now name the habit you want to interrupt. Write it plainly: “I default to advice,” or “I warm up too long,” or “I ask three questions at once.” Seeing it on paper takes away some of its power. Then choose a sixty‑second replacement. Ask “What’s on your mind?” at the start, “What’s the real challenge for you?” when things get foggy, “And what else?” to widen options, “How can I help?” to set boundaries, or “What was most useful?” to finish strong. One question per slot is enough.

Practice like a musician, not like a hero. Say the words out loud three ways—curious, calm, crisp. Count a quiet three after you ask. It will feel long. That’s ok. Silence is where thinking happens. Keep reps short and frequent. You can do ten in a day if you include email replies. After one slip, don’t throw the day away. Use a fail‑safe: ask the question in your next message and mark it as a win.

I might be wrong, but your environment will beat your intention unless you design for it. Put the question on your meeting agenda template. Add it as a text replacement on your phone. Buddy up with a colleague for a two‑minute weekly check‑in on your reps. The phone will buzz, the coffee will cool, someone will be late. Your micro‑habit has to survive all that.

This approach stacks behavior science basics. A clear trigger, a tiny, specific behavior, and lots of repetitions wire a habit faster than force of will. Deep practice on small chunks improves skill more than rare big efforts. A fail‑safe prevents the “what the hell” effect after a miss. Over time, you’ll notice you’re asking by default and advising by invitation. That’s the habit doing its job.

Pick one exact trigger where you usually slip and write it down. Name the old habit you’ll interrupt, then choose a single sixty‑second question you’ll use in that slot. Practice saying it out loud and waiting in silence, and build a small fail‑safe for when you miss, like sending the question in your next message. Add the prompt to your calendar template or text shortcuts, and ask a friend to check in on your reps next week. Start with one conversation today.