Get Clear on Your Realm by Wearing the Right Crown

Every time you drive into a neighbor’s driveway or step onto your office floor, your mind scans for whose territory this is. Chimps are wired to detect boundaries: whose turf, whose troop, whose rules. Humans follow suit in society: property rights, job roles, social etiquette. Yet we often blur these lines, sparking friction and emotional agitation.

Take Lisa, an energetic new manager at a marketing agency. She breezed into her first team meeting and began rearranging the schedule without warning. Team members bristled—they owned these spreadsheets long before she arrived. Her Chimp, eager to prove dominance, wore the wrong crown in the wrong Realm. The project sputtered, not for lack of ideas, but for lack of clear roles.

Contrast that with Joshua, who started with one question in each meeting: “What are the team’s priorities, and where can I best add value?” By honoring the existing boundary—team lead—he gradually became a respected co-leader. He knew where his crown belonged and how to share it when Realms overlapped.

Successful systems—from families to Fortune 500s—thrive on clear leadership and earned respect for others’ domains. Define your own Realms, wear your crown responsibly, and watch conflicts dissolve.

Spend an afternoon drawing your personal map—home, work, friendships—then list who makes decisions in each zone. Next time you step into a colleague’s domain, pause to ask, “May I…?” and in your own, calmly state your rules: “I’d like us to….” Finally, set a quarterly reminder to revisit and realign any shifting boundaries. Clear Realms, clear success.