Stop Emotional Hijacks with a Single Question

Every day, a clash unfolds inside you: quick impulses masquerade as your own thoughts. One moment you’re calm, the next you’re flooded with an emotion you never invited. Behind the scenes, your Chimp—an ancient, instinctive part of your mind—seizes control and paints a distorted picture of danger or offense. In contrast, your Human brain seeks facts, perspective and a solution. Left unchecked, the Chimp runs wild, triggering regrets and fractured relationships.

Imagine you’re running late for an important meeting and a neighbor’s car blocks the driveway. Your Chimp roars, “They did this on purpose! They’re against you!” Before you know it, you’re steaming in anger, only to learn later the neighbor dealt with an emergency. In the heat of the moment, your Human never had a chance. The secret: interrupt that hijack with a simple question.

The next time the Chimp starts whispering toxic thoughts, stop and quietly ask, “Do I want this feeling?” Instantly, you shift from reactive to reflective. You label the emotion—anger, worry, guilt—and the rational part of your mind reactivates. You then decide whether to accept or release it. Often that’s enough to calm the storm.

This method is rooted in decades of neuroscience research on labeling emotions and psychological distancing. By practicing this simple pause, you weaken the Chimp’s power and retrain your mind to choose clarity over chaos.

Imagine yourself in the middle of a heated moment—your heart pounding, your thoughts racing. Then, softly but firmly, you stop and silently say, “Do I want this feeling?” You feel the first shift as the frantic noise in your mind quiets. You name the emotion—"Angry," "Worried," "Ashamed"—and, almost effortlessly, choose the calmer path: “Thank you, but I’m done with this.” That single question breaks the takeover and sets you free to act with clarity and confidence.