Why trying to be authentic can feel like an act

You sit quietly with your eyes closed, heart thumping gently. You bring to mind the word “colleague” and notice a shift in posture—shoulders tense, voice lower. Then you think of “old friend,” and your chest opens, the corners of your mouth lift slightly. The contrast feels so stark that you wonder: which self is the real you?

Your mind drifted back to last week’s meeting when you kept your hand in your lap, afraid to speak up. In that moment, you were playing a role you thought was expected—polite and reserved—but it clashed with your value of open honesty.

Research in self-concordance shows that aligning actions with core values reduces stress and boosts motivation. By tuning into that bodily tension whenever you switch roles, you catch the mask before it hardens into routine.

Mindfully noticing these shifts—name the role, sense the change, then choose one small act of authenticity—gradually dissolves the act itself. You realize that authenticity isn’t a single grand event but a series of tiny, conscious decisions.

Sit comfortably, name one role you play today, and notice how your body changes. Then recall a core value and sense any tension where it doesn’t match. Choose one small action—speaking up or offering honest feedback—to bridge that gap. This pauses the automatic persona and invites genuine expression. Keep practicing this check-in to weave authenticity into everyday moments.