Fulfill your hidden six needs with assertiveness

Patrick had always chased others’ approval. He’d stay late helping colleagues, leaving no time to explore new interests (variety) or polish his own craft (growth). He felt the creeping anxiety of unmet needs—his home life blurred into work, and he couldn’t pinpoint why he felt hollow at night.

One January morning, he grabbed a mug of coffee that had gone cold while he filled out Robbins’ six-need chart. Certainty scored a 4; connection only a 3. He realized his overcommitment for others had starved his own six needs. He scribbled a promise: “Saturdays—no work, just painting.”

Two weeks later, his meeting had been canceled—he’d politely declined. Instead of panicking, he used that hour for a quick yoga flow, honoring his need for variety and self-care. His mood lifted; colleagues noticed his energy change. Turns out, small steps helped meet those hidden needs, and he finally felt more grounded.

Research into human motivation shows that neglecting basic psychological needs leads to burnout and depression. Tony Robbins’ model of certainty, variety, significance, connection, growth, and contribution doesn’t just map a motivational theory—it’s a blueprint for a balanced, fulfilled life. By embracing these needs intentionally, you stop dying a little every day and start thriving.

Picture waking up, looking at your needs chart, and committing—today, 5 p.m., you’ll book a quick dance class for variety. You’ve rated your six needs, uncovered barriers, brainstormed reachable actions, and scheduled them. Now watch your motivation tick up as you honor your own core drivers—give it a try tonight.