Win Them Over by Always Agreeing First
You’re on a sales call when the prospect leans back and sighs, “I don’t think this is going to work.” You could argue, point out facts, or even press harder. Instead, you smile and say, “You’re absolutely right—it might not be a perfect fit.” The tension in the call melts, and you’ve created a safe space for the real issue to surface.
Moments later, the customer opens up: “Our last vendor let us down on support.” You nod and reply, “I agree—support failures are painful. While we can’t undo your past, here’s how we guarantee you won’t go through that again.” Now you have their ear because you acknowledged them first.
By shifting from proving them wrong to joining them in agreement, you break down invisible barriers. You’re no longer the ‘pushy salesperson’ but the ‘empathetic problem-solver.’ They lean forward as you walk through your solution, now primed to listen rather than resist.
Research in social psychology shows that people move toward those who affirm their viewpoints and away from those who contradict them. Agreeing first isn’t about giving in—it’s about guiding them to trust you enough to consider your perspective. Harness it, and you’ll drive more yeses without force.
Next time you meet resistance—whether a late payment objection, a timing stall, or a product worry—start by validating it. You might say, “You’re right, many companies face that hurdle,” and then quickly pivot into, “and here’s how we make it a non-issue.” This approach makes people feel respected before you offer solutions. Keep your tone warm and your focus on solving their real concern, and you’ll find doors swinging open.
What You'll Achieve
You’ll build unshakeable rapport and reduce friction in negotiations, leading to faster decisions. Externally, you’ll see a marked increase in closed deals and fewer prolonged cycles.
Lead By Agreeing First
Acknowledge every concern
The moment a client says, “It’s too expensive,” respond with, “I understand; budget is important.” This simple echo makes them feel heard and opens the door to showing value.
Use “yes, and” transitions
After agreeing—“Yes, you’re right about the delivery time”—add, “and here’s how we can meet your schedule.” Follow the agreement with a constructive solution.
Reframe objections as questions
When you hear “I need more time,” reframe it: “You’d feel better if you had a few extra days. If I can speed up the data, would you then be ready to move forward?”
Practice daily with peers
Pair up each morning and take turns voicing negative scenarios while the other responds with an agreement-first approach. Drill until it feels natural.
Reflection Questions
- When was the last time you disagreed with a client’s opinion before hearing them out?
- How might your closing rate improve if you always started by agreeing?
- What three objection statements can you prepare agreement responses for today?
Personalization Tips
- When a teen says, “Your rules are too strict,” a parent replies, “I know you feel limited, and that’s because I care—let’s figure out a compromise.”
- A nurse hears, “This pain is unbearable,” and says, “I hear you; pain is tough—here’s how we can ease it in minutes.”
- A volunteer told, “I’m not ready yet,” answers, “I understand it feels soon—would a 15-minute meet make it easier?”
Sell or Be Sold: How to Get Your Way in Business and in Life
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