You’re Always Selling or Being Sold—Every Single Day

You wake up and grab a cup of coffee, scrolling through texts. After sending a quick thank-you note for a referral, you dash out the door. At the deli counter, you smile and ask for their “usual plus a side of advice” on a new sandwich—an old habit that always yields a free taste. All before 9 a.m.

Later, you catch your roommate eyeing that last slice of pizza. Instead of demanding it, you compliment their taste and casually frame your own hunger: “I’ve been on back-to-back calls and could power through a pizza challenge—mind if we team up?” The golden slice lands on your plate first.

By noon, a colleague hesitates on a project. You mirror their concern, nodding and asking, “What would make this idea a yes?” As they open up, you align your proposal with their values and watch them light up. They agree to introduce you to the department director without you even naming the ask.

Each of these moments hinges on the same principle: You’re either selling or being sold. That insight alone turns everyday exchanges into strategic opportunities. It’s rooted in behavioral science: we’re wired to respond to social cues of agreement and shared goals. Recognize this truth, and you’ll never miss a chance to guide outcomes.

When you catch yourself in a regular conversation, zoom in on the moment you want a different outcome—whether it’s getting that extra slice or clinching a meeting. Then reframe your ask, matching their language, and invite feedback. For example, instead of saying, “I need five minutes of your time,” try, “I’d love to show you how this could help you hit your goal—can we chat now?” Keep your tone curious, positive, and focused on their needs, and watch how quickly each exchange transforms into an opportunity.