Speak your truth when your voice shakes

Your throat tightens when you think about bringing up the Instagram comments that hurt you, or asking your boss for more responsibility. You fear they’ll judge, reject, or dismiss you. So you stay quiet, tension building, smile faltering.

When I had to ask a tech conference to pay for my flight and a reasonable fee, I cringed at the thought. In my head I heard all the nos before I even dialed. I wrote down my fears, gathered my facts—their usual speakers got paid. I drafted, “I value this event and hope we can discuss a fair arrangement.” My voice shook when I hit Send.

They replied with an apology, doubled their budget, and celebrated me for speaking up. It struck me: courage isn’t silence or shouting—it’s choosing to speak with care, anchored in honest facts and empathy. Neuroscience research on social pain shows our fear of rejection is real, but positive anticipation can override it.

When your voice trembles, it means you’re pushing against what used to hold you back. Speak anyway.

When you’re ready to speak your truth, pause, gather your facts, and frame your words with empathy—“I value us and want to share…” Then send that email or start that conversation. Feel the tremor in your throat as a sign of courage, not weakness. Give it a try tomorrow morning.