Turn Resistant Colleagues into Allies with EGRIP

In one Midwest nonprofit, the director clung to a failing fundraising model. Every data point clashed with her gut, and she grew defensive whenever a staff member questioned the approach. I could feel the tension in her office—the hum of the air conditioner felt too loud, and her coffee sat untouched.

I knew I had to tread carefully. First, I asked about her concerns: "What makes you so sure our donors will return next quarter?" She admitted worry about alienating long-time supporters. I reflected that goal back and shared a similar fear I’d faced years ago in academia, creating a bridge of trust.

Only then did I introduce the data showing donor attrition trends at peer organizations. I phrased it gently: "I stumbled on these numbers and wondered how they fit with your experience." She leaned in, eyebrows raised. When she acknowledged the gap, I seized the moment to praise her openness and brainstorm next steps together.

That afternoon, she agreed to pilot a new donor outreach plan. EGRIP—emotions, goals, rapport, information, positive reinforcement—became her go-to framework. Months later, she credited it for transforming board meetings and reviving donor support.

Start your next tough talk by asking about your colleague’s worries, then restate their goals to show you get it. Share a personal story that echoes their feelings to build real rapport. Introduce your data as a curious find—"I came across this and thought of you"—and watch their posture relax. Finally, thank them for listening and highlight their courage to face hard facts. With EGRIP, you’ll turn defensiveness into collaboration.