Pick guides who must put you first, not salespeople who might

When Maya took over her father’s finances, she met with two professionals. The first greeted her in a glass-tidy office and spoke confidently about products that “fit her profile.” Fees were a blur of percentages and acronyms. The second advisor opened with one line: “I’m a fiduciary, fee-only, with custody at an independent firm you can log into anytime.” Then he slid over a one-page summary of philosophy, cost, and rebalancing rules. The coffee on the table went cold as she asked question after question, and he kept pointing back to the page.

A week later, Maya received both proposals in writing. One included a list of recommended funds whose names matched the adviser’s firm and a disclosure that commissions may be paid on certain transactions. The other listed broad, low-cost funds, a flat advisory fee, and a statement of fiduciary duty at all times. Maya chose the second and slept better that night. A small micro-anecdote: when the market dipped three months later, the fiduciary emailed the pre-agreed plan and rebalanced as promised. No sales pitch, just the playbook.

The difference isn’t just moral, it’s structural. A fiduciary is legally obligated to put your interests first and disclose conflicts. A salesperson can recommend something “suitable” without being best-in-class or best-priced. Suitability sounds fine until the better, cheaper option exists and you never hear about it. I might be wrong, but most confusion disappears when incentives are clean.

This is a systems problem, not just a people problem. Aligning incentives—fee-only pay, third-party custody, written policies—reduces the chance that a hard day turns into a hard sell. It also puts you in a position of shared accountability: both of you agree on the rules before the storm arrives.

Lead with one question in the first meeting: ask if they are a fiduciary at all times for all your accounts, and expect a crisp yes. Review how they get paid and favor fee-only structures you can explain back in one sentence. Confirm your money will be held at an independent custodian you can log into directly, and ask for a written summary that covers philosophy, fees, rebalancing, and tax approach. If you want help without a long-term tie, request a one-time plan you can implement yourself. Choose the setup that makes incentives clean and the next steps obvious. Book two interviews this week.