Build Empathy by Noticing Shared Human Patterns

Scrolling through social media, you pause at a friend’s vacation photos and feel a twinge of envy. You catch yourself: there it is, that familiar bark of “not enough.” Instead of sliding into comparison, you recall your list of judgments and the universal feelings behind them. You think, “Oh, that’s itch of envy—everyone has it.” You breathe out and watch it soften.

Later, in a meeting, you notice pride rising when your idea is praised. Then you remember the flip side: pride is just one edge of the same coin as shame when your ideas fail. Everyone rides that seesaw. With that thought, your ego eases, and you can truly listen to colleagues without holding defensively to your own glory.

Research in social psychology explains that empathy grows when we see our struggles mirrored in others. By turning judgments into windows on shared emotions, you replace separation with connection and move from “I versus them” to “we together.”

Catch yourself the next time you judge another—record what feeling rose inside. Jot down that core emotion—envy, pride, fear—and remind yourself that it’s a universal human knot we all untangle. Then rewrite the judgment as a shared experience sentence and carry it with you. Over time you’ll notice comparisons lose their sting, replaced by gentle understanding.