Your distress makes sense—it’s a signal, not a flaw

You stare at the ceiling, heart pounding, replaying the conversation you had with your boss. You tell yourself it’s all in your head—after all, you’ve behaved fine for years. Yet the ache in your chest won’t let you rest. You’ve learned to interpret that ache as a flaw: “I’m too weak to cope.” But what if it’s a message? Months ago, your manager’s cryptic feedback left you scrambling. Since then, every time a new email lands, you feel that same tightness. It’s not a glitch—it’s a signal that you need clarity, not self-criticism. Tonight, you jot down that strain, trace it back to unclear guidance, and draft two questions you’ll ask tomorrow. The ache loses its edge when you respond. It’s still there, but now it helps you see what to address. This isn’t magic. It’s rooted in decades of research showing distress often arises as our mind’s alarm system—highlighting real, fixable gaps in our lives. When you listen, you begin to heal.

When next you feel overwhelmed, pause and name the stressors that cropped up—maybe an email about tomorrow’s deadline or a tense chat with a colleague. Note how your body tenses or your thoughts spiral. Ask yourself why any person would feel that way facing this exact situation. Then pick one step—perhaps scheduling a quick working session with your manager—and take it. You’ll feel the relief kick in. Try it at work tomorrow.