Cut abstraction by getting close to people and consequences

When numbers grow, people shrink in our minds. That’s a bug in how our brains work. Classic studies on obedience showed that when people couldn’t see or hear the person affected by their actions, they were more likely to continue harmful behavior simply because an authority said so. Distance and abstraction dull empathy.

Leaders face a similar trap. Dashboards and quarterly decks help us steer, but they also hide the human texture of our choices. A director I worked with reviewed ‘average handle time’ for calls every Monday. When the line went up, she pushed harder. Then she listened to a call. The agent whispered, ‘I’m still here, I won’t hang up,’ while a parent cried softly. The director’s pen stopped tapping, and she exhaled.

She started a small practice. Each week someone brought a story from the field—a two‑minute clip, a photo, a sentence from a customer. They attached one decision to one person. It wasn’t sentimental, it was specific: ‘We’re changing the script because of Brianna.’ The meters on the screen didn’t go away, but now they had faces.

Over a quarter, complaints dropped, and employee turnover eased. It wasn’t magic; it was biology. Oxytocin rises when we feel connected to real people, which strengthens our urge to help and to tell the truth. That connection also keeps our dopamine aimed at meaningful problems, not just green arrows. I might be wrong, but most ‘hard calls’ get easier when leaders get closer to the folks who live with the outcomes.

The framework here is simple: reduce abstraction, increase contact. Meet beneficiaries briefly, shadow the frontline without fixing, and bridge one metric to one name. You’ll still need dashboards, but your decisions will carry more care and, often, better results.

Pick a person who experiences your work and talk with them for ten minutes about what changed, then spend an hour shadowing the frontline to feel the real frictions. Bring a short story—a quote, photo, or brief clip—to your next meeting and link one decision to that story. Finally, take one metric and attach a real name and episode to it. Do this weekly, and you’ll find it easier to choose well when the numbers get loud. Try scheduling your first shadow hour now.