Saying no widens your yes possibilities

For years I struggled to decline dinner invitations, group projects, and even phone calls from friends. I’d end up juggling too much and feeling drained. One evening my coach challenged me to say no to everything for 24 hours—no coffee meetups, no volunteer emails, no last-minute sales pitches. I was terrified, picturing hurt feelings everywhere. But as the day unfolded, I noticed a new sense of ease. My calendar looked surprisingly calm, and I was able to focus on my daughter’s school play without a pang of guilt.

Saying no once felt liberating. Saying it again built momentum. My Gator brain learned that “No” didn’t mean the world would end; it meant I could maintain control. By stripping away unnecessary obligations, I rediscovered the joy in the commitments I chose to keep. And every time someone asked again, I found I could be warm and firm: “No, thank you—maybe next time.” They respected it.

In studies of willful ignorance, people avoid information that might force them to confront uncomfortable truths. Saying no works much the same way: you’re avoiding the trap of overcommitment and regaining the freedom to say yes to what matters most. Saying no isn’t selfish; it’s an act of self-care that expands your capacity for the things you want to say yes to.

Whenever a request lands on your plate, pause and quietly take a breath. Ask yourself if it aligns with your nonnegotiables. If it doesn’t, say, “No, thank you,” and feel the relief of honoring your own priorities. Practicing this boundary muscle won’t just cut down your to-do list—it’ll free you to pour energy into the people and projects you truly care about. Try it tomorrow.